My emotions on the trip went from one to the next.
First, I felt little, because I knew very little about the place we were going or what we were gonna be doing there. I wasn't so much apprehensive as just void of knowledge and thus expectation-less. I was a little excited the months beforehand of course, cause hey, I'm going to Guatemala, but still I didn't really know what I was getting into.
Second, I got a little excited when it was finally happening (cause beforehand I was focused on school and other things). And by this I mean when I was on the plane I was suddenly like "! I'm going to Guatemala!!" And my dad was sitting there next to me and I was like wow, here we go.......
Third, I got there, and man. As soon as we got picked up from the airport by Gilda, who even spoke lots of English, I got pretty quiet and timid. Between just being quiet and observant and interested, I also felt very foreign, and felt like I wanted to speak Spanish but didn't know how. These sort of feelings got worse in some ways as we got to Xela and I was pretty sure no one spoke English. We didn't know anyway, we were there for two weeks, and it seemed like the town was small and there was nothing to do. I wasn't depressed or disappointed but definitely withdrawn. I was interested in learning Spanish but even exploring the town seemed like there was nothing to do and it seemed maybe a bit dangerous.
All that changed on Friday after the dinner- by Saturday morning, I was excited to spend a weekend with some new friends, and by the end of the weekend I was really looking forward to hanging out more with them a lot more. People had interesting lives, varied backgrounds, and were from different countries and continents. Its always nice to meet someone with an Australian accent, too :) Also, when you're at a school learning Spanish in Guatemala, you're bound to meet interesting people who've traveled the world and know multiple languages- people don't leave the country for the first time to go to Guatemala. So people had interesting stories and experiences. It felt very much like summer, camp suddenly, especially after all staying at a hotel together and eating meals together all weekend, and having unique experiences in cool places.
So I went straight from thinking that another 7 days was a long time to thinking that 5 days were going to go by very fast. Luckily we had plenty of events after school to hang out and continue to get to know each other, and we had conversations about future plans to see each other again hopefully. I felt like we grew close very fast, again like summer camp, and that the time was coming to an end too soon where we'd all go our separate ways. I definitely relished the experience of traveling and meeting interesting people, as the best part of the trip, and its something that makes me wanna do it again, possibly in another country, to recreate that experience.
I will say that I was reminded of when I went to Italy- being in a country far away where people really don't speak English, and being able to communicate in their language with them, is very exciting and empowering. In Guatemala it was different because I grew able to communicate over the course of my time there, and I think it helped me grow out of my shell in the process, and feel more comfortable in my surroundings. It certainly made me interested in language and travel and foreign countries again- the feeling I had in Italy that wow, you could devote your life just to studying languages and learning about other cultures and traveling. But what the hell, then you'd be missing out on your own, which other people travel to see and learn about :)
I felt a bit of the sadness that a once-in-a-lifetime experience had come and gone, but I've traveled enough now and will enough in the future that I knew it was just one in a series of travels. It isn't to say that I took it for granted, but I didn't lament it being over as much as I otherwise would have. I was happy to come back to Chicago because I'm happy with my life here, and I was excited to start the summer spending time with Tiffany doing all the things we'd planned. I was even excited to use my computer, iPhone, and other miscellaneous things :) The first time I listened to music in four days down there (I brought an old iPod) was like listening to the songs for the first time- that was pretty great. Makes me wanna like "fast" from listening to music once in a while. But I won't :)
Lastly, I quickly found out how easy it'd be for even someone like me, with strong ties back home to people (and technology) to get isolated someplace like Guatemala, and be okay with it. Because internet access was sparse and crappy, I quickly got sick of trying to be in good communication with people, and after I made some friends, I got more interested in being in the moment down there, spending time doing cool things with cool people. I think that for someone like a few people I met, it'd be easy to be content traveling for a few months at a time and get completely disconnected from your real life. Its enjoyable in some ways too because your day, your routine, your head and thoughts, everything is so simple cause there's just not a lot going on. Its very relaxing and easy and peaceful, thinking only a few hours or days into the future about simple things like meals and little trips. No stresses of American life, but of course no comforts either. But it was nice- like a retreat. Easy I think to get addicted to that feeling and I understand why people run from the US and just move to a place like this, never wanting to return to a crazy place like daily life as a middle-classer in the US.
Anyway my blogging has about come to an end now thankfully except for maybe a preview of coming attractions that I'll post next...
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